


The Curious Case of Chekov's Gift

by AlexTirZeng



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Crew as Family, Gen, Gratuitous shenanigans, I swear to God what am I doing?, Rated for swearing, Short Chapters, Slice of Life, gratuitous fluff, only vaguely seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTirZeng/pseuds/AlexTirZeng
Summary: Spock had expected Jim to tell the crew about his birthday, and thus had expected well wishes and maybe gifts, but this? This threw him for a loop - and of course, it was Chekov's fault.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any affiliated media.
> 
> Crack treated seriously. A series of vignettes.
> 
> Update Jan 03, 2018: This fic is temporarily on hold. I'm having some real trouble engaging with Star Trek, particularly the Original Series, after the recent allegations against George Takei. I'm still a fan of the series - the show and it's message are deeply important to me - but I don't think I can really write fanfiction for it at this time. 
> 
> If you would like to know the full version of my thoughts regarding the series here.

"Happy birthday Mr. Spock!"

The Vulcan in question raised an eyebrow as a box, adorned with a bow, was thrust into his hands. The box was large and unwrapped, and most notably, was ventilated. It shifted in Spock's hands. Pavel Chekov, gift-giver, was practically vibrating with excitement.

"I know I'm a few days early, but, that doesn't really matter. When the Keptin told us your birthday was coming up, I had no idea what to get you! Everyone else seemed to know what _they_ were going to get, but I was stumped! I wanted to get something spectacular. And then I was on shore leave today, and I saw this, and I _knew._ " Chekov paused expectantly. "Well, open it!"

So Spock, suitably apprehensive, did. The contents of the box _meowed_.

The cat inside was possibly the most ridiculous creature Spock had ever laid his eyes on. It was enormous, fluffy, and violently orange. Its legs were short, probably the result of the munchkin mutation, and one of its bottom fangs stuck out from its closed mouth. The cat stared, unblinkingly, at Spock. Spock stared back. Chekov was grinning.

"So I was at an animal shelter - the creature in the window was just _too cute_ \- and I was looking around when I saw him. Then I saw him, sprawled out in the sun, and I thought: 'he looks just like Mr. Spock.'"

Spock's other eyebrow joined its twin by his hairline. "Mr. Chekov, I fail to see how I resemble this cat."

Chekov was unfazed. "I thought you might say that, but just look at the ears!"

A pause. Chekov was not entirely incorrect.

"His name is Russia."

* * *

Russia took one look around Spock's quarters and immediately made himself at home. He hopped up on the bed, rolled over, and promptly began purring. Chekov was _thrilled_ with the development and ran off to collect the cat supplies from the transporter room. Spock's eyebrows reacquainted themselves with his bangs, and the Vulcan himself went to contact Jim.

Strictly speaking, there was no Starfleet regulation explicitly against pets, so long as keeping them did not interfere with an officer's duties. Ship to ship choices around the matter were generally left up to the captains. Jim's face flickered to life on Spock's computer screen, lazily grinning.

"Spock! What's up?"

"There has been an…. unexpected development, Captain."

"Something wrong, Spock?" Jim's mood sobered a bit and he leaned forward as if to keep a secret. "This isn't, you know, another _biology_ thing right? I thought you said that only happens every seven years or something..."

"No, Jim."

"Oh. That's good." Jim's grin was back. "Well, what is it then? I'm sure it can't be too bad."

"I have acquired a cat."

"A _what?_ "

"Is that the Keptin?" Chekov chose that moment to reappear, his face completely obscured by the box he was carrying. He dropped it with a thunk and scooped Russia up off the bed, presenting the cat to the viewscreen. "Isn't he _wonderful?_ I realize now I probably should have checked with you first, but just look at him!"

Russia reached out from his place in Chekov's arms and gently touched Spock's face.

"Aw, Spock!" Jim's grin had gotten impossibly wider. "He likes you!"

"You don't object, Captain?" Spock asked. Jim considered a moment.

"No, not really, Mr. Spock. I don't see why we can't have him on board. He's not a tribble, so... Anyways, if any of us can handle pet care and the job it's you, and some of Sulu's plants are basically pets as it is, so I guess it's only fair. That said - Mr. Chekov?"

"Yes?"

" _Ask permission_ next time."

"You've got it sir!"

"So," Jim bounced in his seat a little "What's his name?"

"His name is Russia." Chekov's exuberant voice matched Spock's deadpan word for word.

Jim positively howled with laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Weird was the _modus operandi_ of life aboard the _Enterprise_ , and Hikaru Sulu knew that as well as anyone else. He wouldn't go so far to say he knew it _better_ than anyone else - he was absolutely certain that the Captain, Commander Spock, and Dr. McCoy collectively held that title - but he had seen his share of strange, often alien, tomfoolery. He had traveled through time, been absorbed into a hive-minded society governed by a computer, and even ran half naked through the ship chasing people with a sword. In fact, if you wanted to find out the latest oddities that hadn't made it into an official Starfleet report, Sulu was the man to contact - he kept a small list of whatever he found notable on his PADD.

Today would make the list.

Mr. Spock was - with the exceptions of events such as illness, infection, poisoning, or possession - always the picture of composition. Sulu had once gotten in on a bet that Spock's hair wouldn't even move in the wind should he ride in a convertible. The fact that Spock's clothing was covered in long, orange hairs made the day a list-worthy oddity in itself. However, what was said upon the bridge crew catching sight of Spock was even stranger.

"How's the newest member of the crew doing?" Captain Kirk was the source of the first, much less weird statement.

Then, within a second of the captain speaking, Chekov opened his mouth.

"How's my little Tsarevich?" he exclaimed.

Sulu was right in the middle of wondering why the _fuck_ Chekov had decided to call Commander Spock that when he spotted the cat.

The first thing that Sulu noticed was that the cat was absolutely _enormous_. The second was that it also appeared as if whatever powers that be had been a little tipsy when arranging it's features. It's ears even had a bend to them that made them look just like Spock's. Sulu found himself suddenly choking back laughter.

"Mr. Spock! When did you get a cat?" Uhura took one for the team and asked the question on everyone's mind.

"About three hours ago, Lieutenant." Spock replied "Russia is a birthday gift from Mr. Chekov."

Of course Chekov would name the cat _Russia_.

"Pavel" Sulu whispered as leaned over toward Chekov "what did you _do?_ "

"Possibly the greatest thing I have ever done."

* * *

Over the next three days, it became apparent that Russia thought Spock was the absolute best thing in the universe. He followed the Vulcan everywhere. According to some other crew members that lived on Spock's hall, Spock had tried in vain to get Russia to stay in his quarters when leaving for work. However, Russia had simply whined endlessly when left in the room alone, and Spock, acknowledging the effects of stress on the cat's health, let Russia out to follow him.

Fortunately, Russia was a docile and well behaved cat. He became a regular fixture on the bridge, and was often seen lounging under Spock's station or sitting in Spock's chair. The latter behavior was rather amusing to watch, as Russia, without fail, would take the chair the moment Spock stood up. There had been one tense moment where Russia had jumped up into Captain Kirk's lap, and the bridge crew had all held their breath, remembering the tribble incident. Apparently, however, cats were on the Captain's list of acceptable creatures - in fact, Kirk seemed to _like_ Russia - and the day had moved on without further incident.

The only issue was that under no circumstances was Russia allowed in the labs. The cat would sit sadly outside the door whenever Spock was working there, pouting as passerby stopped to pet him. It was eventually arranged that Russia would stay with Chekov while Spock was in lab, though the cat somehow managed to be there the moment Spock's lab shift ended. Sulu had offered once, but had made the mistake of offering to grow some catnip on Russia's behalf. Spock found it "strange that [Sulu] would like to see [Spock's] cat under the influence" and Sulu apparently was not to be trusted with cat-sitting duty.

It was all in all a successful solution. Then, on the fourth day, when Chekov was watching Russia, Russia wandered off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I won't do anything bad to Russia. This is going to be a light-hearted fic all around.


	3. Chapter 3

For the third time that hour, Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott heard _something_ from inside the jeffries tube. The first two times, Scotty hadn't been sure he had heard something at all. It was a subtle noise that could have just been the hum of the ship or a hiss of hydraulics, but with it's third occurrence, Scotty was sure that something was in there. Grumbling that if he found someone trying to build a still in a jeffries tube _again_ he'd give the engineering staff a talking to they'd never forget - why anyone thought putting alcohol in a maintenance structure was a good idea was beyond him; if they wanted a still they could very well do it somewhere else. He was using a hollowed out wall panel himself - Scotty went to investigate.

What he found was a pair of yellow eyes looking down at him. Scotty's own widened in surprise.

"What is a cat doing on the _Enterprise_?" Scotty blinked "Tell me laddie, what _are_ you doing on this ship?"

The cat meowed and sniffed Scotty's nose.

"Well you can't stay in here; people do maintenance in these things. Come 'ere." Scotty scooped up the cat from his perch. The cat protested briefly, trying to hold onto the ledge he had made home on, but his stubby legs betrayed him and he lost his grip. Scotty chuckled. Regardless of where the cat had come from, he was a cute little bugger. Maybe he could ask the Captain if he could keep him…?

After an hour or so of doing paperwork with a lapful of happily purring _orange_ , Scotty set out to do just that. He scooped the cat up into his arms, chuckled to himself, and headed for the upper decks. It would be nice to have a cat around again. He was just passing the science labs when-

"Oh thank goodness! You found Russia!" Chekov looked like he could cry in relief. Scotty's heart sank, even as part of him doubled over in laughter at the name.

"Oh. He's yours then?"

"No, no! I just brought him aboard. He's actually-"

They were interrupted by Russia vaulting himself out of Scotty's arms. He shot like a phaser blast to the lab doors - and much to Scotty's eternal surprise - jumped into a resignedly waiting Spock's arms.

"Mr. Scott," Spock nodded in greeting. He then nodded to Russia, who was trying to rub his face against Spock's. "A birthday gift from Mr. Chekov."

"Oh!" Scotty briefly found himself at a loss for words. "...Well, ah, if you need any advice, I know all about taking care of one of these little fuzzballs. Had a cat named Midgie growing up, though the was a fair bit greyer and longer legged than Russia here."

Spock nodded again. "My thanks, Mr. Scott."

By the longing note in the engineer's voice, Spock was not at all surprised when Scotty turned up at his door with what might have been the largest cat condo in the known universe and a 'Fleet insignia shaped tag two days later. He did, however, raise an eyebrow at the tag's reading "Lt. Russia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably fair to mention that I have literally no idea where I'm going with this. It was planned - and I used "planned" very, very loosely - as a series of silly vignettes about a cat, and that's probably how it's going to stay. 
> 
> In other news...I am very excited to write Bones's chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure anyone who's watched Star Trek has seen Spock compared to a cat before - there's even that weird episode with Gary 7 and the cat. So of course, when imagining Spock with a cat, one is prone to imagine a cat that actually resembles the Vulcan in question. Which, of course, lead me to the opposite image - what if Spock had a cat, but it absolutely resembled him in no way whatsoever?
> 
> Thus, this was born
> 
> As I said up top, this is intended to become a series of silly vignettes surrounding Spock, Russia, and the rest of the Enterprise crew. When it'll be updated is as much a mystery to you as it is to me, however, because I am a college student drowning in work. That said, I really do intend to continue this. This chapter also works stand-alone. (I may be getting some help writing from my dear friend Ella as well, so that would be great).
> 
> Crossposted to fanfiction.net


End file.
